Disquiet

It's past midnight. 

The mortal inhabitants of the Lair are at rest 'cept its Mistress--me. The energies of the past day are too much with me, clinging desperately to my spirit and denying it peace. Try as I might, I simply am incapable of silencing the negativity...the pall of foreboding which has settled over my frame...the tension which bade me rise and write it into silence.

A trust was broken today (*no...not with my beloved, so quit that). Nearly everything was recovered/reclaimed and that which was not was of little value...but that's not the issue.  The gnawing pain is that it happened at all and that the "confessional" was more a bandage than a beginning of a curative or display of true remorse for the actions...and an accidental admission that this hadn't been a first violation of my private space.

Life went on. I should do as my darling and let it go...move forward...start afresh. He saw my pain. He knows I'm hurting. He dealt with the breach in my stead as he knew I had been rendered virtually incapable of thought by the blow. He got the "confession" to occur from the parties.

It should be enough.

I want it to be enough.

I'm not certain it is enough.

So...here I sit in the restorative silence of the Lair--fur-babies sleeping their puppy-sleeps, crickets and Toads singing in the heavy Summer darkness outside, and my beloved rumbling his calming snore from our bedroom. Willing my brain to quiet...willing my nerves to soothe...willing sleep to come.

This full Moon was one which heightened emotions. At least I know I'm attuned.

In the softness of the Moonlight...